Author: Hope Blankenship, CFE

Choosing Intentionality: A Word to Guide 2026

I entered the new year without a word, as I often do. But the same day I mapped out my annual January plan for fasting, prayer, and how I wanted 2026 to begin, it came to me with a quiet clarity—sudden in recognition, yet steady in its conviction: Intentionality.

This isn’t about doing more, being busier, or cramming my schedule full. It’s about living with purpose, heart, and presence in every part of life—about truly inhabiting each moment instead of letting it slip by or rushing ahead before it’s fully lived.

It’s about family: being intentional with my kids, listening to them fully, teaching them gently, and loving them without distraction. It’s about my husband—encouraging him, showing up for him, and nurturing our marriage daily (Ephesians 5:2: “And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”).

It’s about time: choosing rest over rushed routines, making space to say yes to what truly nourishes my soul, and saying no to what doesn’t align with God’s plans for my life—so that He remains the main author of my story. (Psalm 90:12: “Teach us to number our days, that we may develop a heart of wisdom.”).

It’s about words and actions: speaking life, encouragement, and kindness into others’ worlds on a daily basis. Choosing my words with care, extending grace, and choosing patience in moments that test me. (Proverbs 16:24: “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”).

It’s about health and habits: caring for my body as a gift from God, making good choices with food, sleep and exercise that honor Him and respect my body even when they’re not easy. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 reminds us: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”)

It’s about connection: intentionally reaching out to family and friends near and far, making space to nurture relationships, and allowing time for real presence, not just convenience. It’s about showing love even when life feels busy.

It’s about finances: stewarding resources thoughtfully, giving generously, and building a legacy for our children that reflects God’s faithfulness and provision (Luke 16:11, “So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?“).

It’s about spiritual life: prioritizing quiet time with God, worship, prayer, and His Word, choosing His stillness over the chaos around me (Jeremiah 29:13 ”You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”).

It’s about life balance: reading more books, learning intentionally, limiting mindless scrolling, slowing down to notice the beauty around me, and savoring ordinary moments as sacred. It’s choosing to be fully present, because life is happening in real time, not on a screen (James 1:5: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God…”).

It’s about community and kindness: using my gifts to bless others, serving where I can, and choosing compassion and patience in every little interaction (Galatians 6:9: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”).

This year, I want to live deliberately, not distractedly. Intentionality is about making space for the things that matter most, saying yes to presence, love, and purpose—and saying no to the noise and hurry that steal our joy. It’s about recognizing that our days are gifts, that our relationships are sacred, and that our choices shape the life we—and those around us—will remember.

2026 will be a year of Intentionality: a year to pause, reflect, and choose what matters, to create a life full of meaning and presence. May it inspire you, too, to consider: where can you be more intentional this year? What moments are worth slowing down for, savoring, and living fully?

Let this year be a call to live with heart, with purpose, and with God at the center of every decision—like a steady candle in the dark, illuminating the path forward, one intentional choice at a time.

Let Bad Advice Redirect You—Not Define You

There’s a tension every purpose-driven leader must navigate—between seeking wisdom from others and listening to the still, quiet voice of the Lord. It’s always wise to pursue counsel, but not all advice is meant to chart our course—some is meant to send us back to God for confirmation.

I’ve had two defining experiences where I reached out to business leaders I respected—people with impressive credentials, platforms, and influence. I looked up to them, believing they could speak wisdom into what I felt the Lord was calling me to do.

The first moment came when I was contemplating writing a book. I asked a leader I admired at a lunch one day, “Do you think it would actually help anyone if I wrote a book like this?” It was a vulnerable question—one that came from a sincere place of wanting to be impactful, not self-promoting. Their response was lukewarm at best. With a scrunch of their nose and a hesitant tone, they questioned whether my story was worth telling at all, subtly brushing it off as an unnecessary time waster. I left that conversation feeling deflated and doubtful—not just of the idea, but of myself. I felt like something that had once carried divine inspiration now felt… foolish.

The second scenario came during a pivotal time when I was clarifying the vision for my business. I sat down with another professional in my field, someone with more certifications and traditional credentials than me. I shared that I was serving clients all over the country and wanted to express that in my vision statement. Her response? She told me, quite bluntly, “Your business isn’t nationwide, you’re just a small firm here in Mississippi.” It caught me off guard because I was already working with clients in multiple states. The limitation she placed on my work didn’t match the reality—or the vision God had planted in me. But for a moment, I questioned if I was dreaming too big.

In both situations, the discouragement came not from strangers, but from respected voices I admired. And while I genuinely believe they didn’t intend harm, the impact was real. Their words stung. They seeded doubt in moments when I needed faith, clarity, and encouragement.

But here’s the truth: those moments didn’t stop me.
They shaped me.

They became turning points—moments that challenged me to search deeper into what I knew God was speaking over my life, and not just what others thought were reasonable or appropriate for me.

It’s worth noting-I wasn’t without support. I had others in my life who were encouraging me and walking with me through that season. These two voices stood out because I had chosen to run these specific ideas by only a handful of people, and their responses carried more weight than they should have. It took me three years to label my business and national and it took me 5 years to write that book.

As I think back on these moments, I’m reminded of the story of David and his older brother Eliab in 1 Samuel 17. Before David ever stepped onto the battlefield to face Goliath, he faced something just as familiar to many of us—discouragement from someone he likely looked up to.

When David began asking questions about Goliath, stirred with boldness and vision, Eliab shut him down. He questioned David’s motives, minimized his role, and essentially told him he didn’t belong there. David could’ve internalized that criticism. He could’ve let Eliab’s doubt take him out of the story right there.

But he didn’t.

David kept moving forward—not out of arrogance, but out of conviction. He knew what God had stirred in him, and he didn’t let the voice of someone in the camp silence the calling God had placed on his life.

That’s what I had to learn, too. Sometimes, the voices we admire aren’t able to see what God is doing in us. And that’s okay. Their words may sting, but they don’t get the final say. Like David, we’re called to keep going—not because everyone agrees, but because we know Who sent us.

The Leadership Lesson

If you’re in a season where you’re seeking advice, because we all need it, here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Not all advice is right—even if it’s from someone you admire

Wisdom doesn’t always come from the loudest or most credentialed voices. Some advice, though well-intended, is filtered through someone else’s fears, limitations, or worldview. Learn to separate the advice from the person—and weigh both against the calling God placed on your life.

2. Filter advice through peace and prayer

Before you internalize someone’s perspective, ask: Does this advice align with the peace I had before the conversation? Does it affirm what God has already shown me? If it disrupts your spirit, it may not be for you.

3. Don’t let credentials intimidate your calling

Certifications and achievements are valuable—but they aren’t a substitute for calling or passion. Just because someone has letters behind their name doesn’t mean they understand the assignment on YOUR life.

4. Be mindful of whose voice you let speak into your vision

Some people will only speak to the version of you they understand—not the future your God is shaping. Be selective with who you allow into the inner circle of your dreams. As a personal practice, I try not to make significant decisions based on one person’s opinion alone. I typically seek input from at least three trusted voices in my circle.

5. Honor the person, release the advice

You don’t have to demonize people who give you poor or discouraging advice. Honor them, but don’t be bound by their perspective. Maturity means knowing when to respectfully let go of a word that doesn’t align with God’s truth for your life.

6. Keep going—even if others don’t see it yet

Not everyone will champion you, especially at the start. But visionaries are often misunderstood. Keep walking. Keep building. Keep trusting. The fruit will speak for itself in time.

Final Thought:

These two conversations, painful as they were, became gifts. They reminded me to seek God’s voice above all others, to weigh advice carefully, and to lead from conviction, not consensus.

So, if you’ve ever been discouraged by someone you looked up to, let this be your reminder: You don’t need everyone to understand you’re calling to walk in it boldly.
Keep going because God made you for such a time as this.

When healing became a manuscript

I will praise you, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.
Psalm 9:1 NLT

I ran. I ignored. I suppressed. I denied the calling I knew God placed in me—to share my story.
It felt like no one would care. It felt too hard. It felt like others had been through worse than I had. I didn’t want people judging my life decisions. But eventually, I realized obedience doesn’t always feel comfortable—sometimes it just looks like showing up with a willing and open heart.

I can’t say I always loved journaling about myself—but I did love writing. From a young age, I found joy in crafting letters of encouragement to friends or sharing my perspective through school essays, especially when someone’s story moved me.

Years later, when I recognized that my healing journey had truly begun, I started journaling—not for others, but for myself. I wanted to capture the moments of growth and the milestones of breakthrough. I knew I would overcome, and I wanted to remember how.

At first, those words were mine alone—tucked away in notebooks, revisited during quiet moments, or maybe shared over coffee with a young woman walking a road I had once traveled. But slowly, it became clear: God had more in mind for those pen strokes. What I thought were private reflections were seeds for something bigger. Finding Hope wasn’t planned—it was born out of obedience, healing, and the realization that my story could be someone else’s lifeline.

Recognizing pain and hurt from childhood—and choosing to face it.
Experiencing trauma as a college-aged girl who thought she had it all figured out.
Packing up a business and a family to move across the country with the military, starting over with nothing but faith and a fresh zip code.
Grieving. Searching for joy.
Falling in love with the one who would become my greatest earthly gift.
Staring down my worst fears and finding God in every valley and mountaintop.

This was my story to tell. And deep down, I knew someone out there needed to hear it—not for entertainment, but for encouragement.

My job isn’t to control the outcome. It’s simply to be obedient with the task He’s placed in front of me, and then to trust Him with the rest.

There’s nothing quite like putting your whole life on display for the world to read—and believing that God will use it in ways you couldn’t even dream of.

If I’m honest, this was a seven-year journey.
How fitting—and a little funny—that God chose the number seven. In Scripture, seven often symbolizes completeness and divine fulfillment. It marks something that has been made whole.

God led me through a six-year walk—not a sprint, not even a jog, but a slow, steady walk through healing, surrender, and growth. It wasn’t flashy or fast. It was faithful.

Then came the seventh year—a year of hiddenness, of deep revelation, and sacred stillness.

Not stillness in the world—life kept moving, as it always does. But stillness in my soul. A holy pause -Selah. A space to be quiet long enough to focus and write. Long enough to gather the memories, shape the chapters, edit with care, and pray through every page.

I remember sitting at dinner one night, holding this dream quietly between the Lord and me, when I finally looked at my husband and said,
“I think I’m supposed to write a book.”

Saying it out loud felt like a release. It was light. It was freeing. And it felt like the truest thing I had ever admitted about myself. As soon as the words left my mouth, something inside me settled.

Towards the end of 2024, I told him I had a goal: to attend a writing retreat in 2025. I didn’t know exactly what it would look like—I just knew I needed tools, space, and guidance for the journey ahead. Writing a book wasn’t going to be a quick task. It was going to take time, intention, and faith.

A little scared but even more excited, I released the goal to God and prayed for the door to open.

Two months later, on January 1, 2025, I opened my inbox and saw an email invitation to an Author Class Interest Meeting with Havilah Cunnington. I paused, prayed, and then signed up—still unsure where it would lead, but hopeful.

Never in a million years did I think that simple “yes” would lead to me completing my first full draft in just 16 weeks. I set a goal to publish by the fall and found myself surrounded by a group of incredible people from all over the country—each with the same dream I had carried in my heart for years.

Together, we learned how to outline, organize, and actually write the books God had placed in us. We encouraged each other, walked through doubt and writer’s block together, and celebrated every breakthrough—big and small.

The truth is,
📚 Only 3–5% of people who want to write a book ever begin.
📝 Of those, only 30% finish a full manuscript.
🚫 And 97% of those manuscripts never get published.

I’m now part of the small percentage who followed through—not because I had it all together, but because I finally stopped running from the calling and started trusting God with the process.

✨ Finding Hope is my story, but it’s also an invitation—for you to begin your own. I pray you’ll find hope in your story the same way I found hope in mine.

No pun intended.

The Goodness

Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul. Psalm 66:16 ESV

In a world where fear and uncertainty often seem to dominate, I’ve been reflecting on the goodness of God and the dreams He plants in our hearts. I believe the Lord gives us dreams and passions that sometimes we are fearful to pursue and it’s all too easy to get caught up in insecurities, doubts, and practical barriers like time and resources. Yet, it’s through these challenges that God invites us to trust Him and step out in faith.

Music has been a central part of my life. It’s woven into the very fabric of my being. My grandfather was a jazz pianist, my father is a gifted pianist, my mom, a singer, and my sister’s voice is truly special. Growing up surrounded by this musical talent, I was immersed in a world where music calms the soul, unites people, and evokes deep emotions. It’s been a constant source of comfort and joy for me.

Even with this deep connection to music, my journey hasn’t come without challenges. About 13 years ago, I began leading worship at my church, which felt like a clear calling from God. Yet, every time I led, I wrestled with self-doubt. To build my skills and confidence, I signed up for voice lessons. My first teacher was a blessing—she taught me to rely on God and believe in the gifts He had given me. She taught me how to have confidence! My second and current teacher helped me understand the science of music and has pushed me to grow in ways I could not have imagined.

In mid-2023, my teacher asked me about my music goals. To be honest, I hadn’t thought beyond my role on the church worship team. I remember specifically telling her I knew what I did not see myself doing, that was writing music. I actually even said that writing music wasn’t something I felt capable of. About a month later I was driving and I started to sing a melody and the words of a common prayer I pray often fit with the melody. The next day it happened again but with another melody and another 30 second clip of music. It happened several more times within the next few months so I just kept voice recording them on my phone not really knowing where that would lead.

Around November, during one of my quiet moments with the Lord, He prompted me to revisit those melody clips I had recorded. It felt like He was nudging me to share them with my son, Austin and to pursue turning them into real songs. I began to see these melodies as pieces of a bigger tapestry that God was weaving together.

Despite this, I was overwhelmed with self-doubt. I thought, “Who’s going to want to listen to these songs? People might think I’m being vain. What if no one supports this? And let’s face it, recording music costs money and I don’t have the resources right now. Plus, I’m short on time…” But deep down, I felt God telling me to involve Austin in this project, to make it part of a legacy for my family, and to create something special we could work on together. Austin, who is an exceptionally talented musician and loves music as much as, if not more than, I do, has taught himself countless instruments and has an incredible knack for creating music. So, I shared the idea with him, hoping he would help me write and record these songs and he agreed we should do it!

New Year’s Day 2024, Austin and I spent the day at the piano—an incredible “dream” gift I received in 2023, another testament to God’s timing and provision. That day, we finished “My Prayer.” A few months later, we completed “Hallelujah to the One.” Throughout this journey, doubts and fears tried to take hold, but God provided peace and built my faith at every turn.

A few months later, I shared the project with my dad, and it turned out he had just started to tune pianos at our local community college. They had recently built a brand-new recording studio and were looking to rent it out! This was a perfect opportunity for this project. Another God moment.

Over the following months, we wrapped up the songs, reached out to some incredibly talented friends and musicians to play various instruments, and scheduled the recording session. While we faced some setbacks—people initially agreed to help but then couldn’t for one reason or another— I chose not to see these as failures or closed doors. Instead, I kept praying and trusting that God would guide me to the right people, and He did! The musicians who ended up being part of this project were exactly the right ones for the job, and they were truly the people God intended to bring these songs to life.

Another big challenge was understanding music copyrighting, licensing and distribution. Just as I was grappling with this, a friend I met at a worship retreat three years earlier started offering consulting on music licensing. Her help came exactly when I needed it, a clear reminder of how God orchestrates everything for His purposes in His timing. Another God moment.

Recording day in August 2023 was a beautiful experience. Seeing the project come to life with the help of talented friends was a testament to God’s goodness. We’re still finalizing the project, but I am deeply grateful for how God has guided us through every step and while I have no idea what He plans to do through these songs I am humbled that he chose to use me.

If you have dreams that seem daunting or out of reach, remember that God is with you. Dream boldly and trust that He will open the right doors at the right time. Take each step as He leads, and be patient with the process. The journey might be long, but walking with God makes it all the more meaningful. He wants to bring your dreams to fruition and, more importantly, He wants to deepen your relationship with Him along the way. So take that leap of faith, and watch how the goodness of God transforms your dreams into something even more beautiful than you could ever imagine.

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13

I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty, and on Your wondrous works. Men shall speak of the might of Your awesome acts, and I will declare Your greatness. They shall utter the memory of Your great goodness, and shall sing of Your righteousness. Psalm 145:5-7

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20

The more I seek you the more I find you

Sharing personal stories, especially ones of joy and success, can sometimes feel like navigating a minefield. There’s a delicate balance between celebrating our victories and acknowledging the struggles of others. No one wants to diminish another person’s hardships, especially when they’re going through their own trials.

As someone who’s walked through wilderness seasons, I understand the struggle all too well. I’ve faced my fair share of wilderness seasons. During those moments, hearing about others’ joy-filled seasons sometimes left me feeling even more hopeless. It’s tough to see the light when you’re surrounded by darkness. But through it all, I’ve learned that even in the darkest times, the light illuminates the darkness. It’s why the bible tells us that the word of our testimonies is so powerful. It can help others in overcoming adversity. So that’s what I share today, a testimony….

I’m currently in a season of growth and flourishing. Though I still encounter challenges, I wake up each day filled with hope and gratitude for the blessings the Lord has given me. I often find myself overwhelmed with gratitude and humility, reflecting on the journey that has brought me to where I am today.

There are moments when I’m reminded of the darkness I once faced – battles with addiction, harmful relationships, and both emotional and physical abuse. But despite the darkness from which I emerged, I am here today, a living testament to the transformative power of God’s grace. I am grateful every day that He didn’t leave me in those dark places but instead lifted me out and saved me.

In the fall of 2023, I was intrigued by a pastor’s message on the significance of bucket lists. He emphasized the importance of setting goals to work towards and having things to look forward to in life. Bucket lists, he said, not only provide hope and focus but also have the potential to strengthen our faith.

Reflecting on this, I found myself contemplating my own list. Many of my aspirations had already become reality, leaving me wondering what else to add. Then, I recalled the pastor’s advice to include seemingly impossible or even silly desires. So, I began to jot down ideas: traveling to Europe, recording music, embarking on a family mission trip… And then, almost out of nowhere, Carnegie Hall and New York City crossed my mind.

Admittedly, the thought of singing at Carnegie Hall seemed silly and far-fetched. I laughed to myself, deeming it too unrealistic for my bucket list. However, the pastor’s words echoed in my mind: “add things to the list that seem silly and impossible.” So, with a mix of amusement and curiosity, I added it: “singing at Carnegie Hall.” With that, I tucked the idea away in my mind, not dwelling on it too much.

A few months later, my husband and I were driving home when I received a text from a close friend. It read: “I have an opportunity. Performing with Kari Jobe and Cody Carnes in Carnegie. Thoughts?” Initially, It sounded like an amazing experience, and since it was in New York, and of course Kari Jobe and Cody Carnes, I replied with a simple “Um YES!”

As the weeks went by, the magnitude of the opportunity began to sink in. Shortly before all this took place, I had been wrestling with uncertainties in my music journey. Unsure if pursuing music, recording, and leading worship was what the Lord wanted for me, I had even found myself contemplating putting it on hold. Up to this point the bucket list conversation with the Lord that I had tucked away had not come back to my mind yet.

I continued to pray and seek God’s will about my music future. Then, one December day while driving and listening to worship music, God gently reminded me of our previous conversation about bucket lists. He assured me that even though it seemed like a silly request, it was a dream I had in my heart. He told me He was opening an impossible door to show me that even the seemingly trivial desires matter to Him because of His love for me. It was a gift to me packaged from Him.

The journey to Carnegie Hall wasn’t without its challenges. There were logistical hurdles, financial commitments, and my ongoing battle with fear and anxiety around flying. In a previous blog post titled “Do it afraid,” I shared about my fear of flying. This fear became evident during a trip to Israel in 2023, where I experienced nightmares and panic attacks leading up to the flight. Reflecting on this, I’ve realized it’s a spiritual attack of the enemy. Both before my Israel trip and my recent journey to Carnegie Hall, I faced anxiety, nightmares and sleepless nights anticipating the flights. However, upon returning home from each trip, I felt zero anxiety and even a sense of calm and peace.

These trips taught me that the enemy often targets our weakest areas. For me, fear of flying is one such vulnerability. Yet, I remained steadfast in my faith, refusing to succumb to fear and cancel my trips. I relied on God’s strength within me, knowing His power is greater than any obstacle. Overcoming fear and anxiety is an ongoing journey. While God freed me from anxiety needing medication years ago, I still face moments where I must confront these emotions. However, I hold onto the truth that my feelings do not dictate reality, and with God, all things are possible.

Saturday was filled with rehearsals and a meet-and-greet with Kari and Cody, who proved to be blessings to everyone they encountered. Their humble spirits and reverence for the Lord were evident in all they did. It was truly an honor to stand on stage with them and their team. Following a fun evening touring the city, enjoying a show, we returned for a restful night’s sleep.

The next morning, we had the privilege of attending the vibrant Times Square Church. Witnessing the overflow of worship in the heart of Times Square was a refreshing reminder of God’s presence amid the city’s turmoil. After church, it was off to Carnegie for our official rehearsal with Kari and Cody. As we stepped into Carnegie’s main hall, Stern Hall, the grandeur of the venue took our breath away. The room was filled with history, humbling us as we prepared for the evening’s performance.

The evening concert was filled with awe and wonder. Sweet moments of sporadic worship and just the voices carrying through the room was what I believe to be a small glimpse of what worshiping in heaven before the throne will sound like. All voices and instruments in one accord praising the one who gave us breath and life.

We closed the evening with a beautiful performance of The Blessing, ending with an acoustic, vocals only moment singing Amen, for all of heaven to hear. The congregation, the choir, Kari and Cory all singing in harmony with the sound reverberating off the acoustic walls of Carnegie Hall. What a sight it was to behold.

This trip made me realize I witnessed firsthand how God’s blessings transcend our own limitations. Despite my wavering faith at times, He remains faithful, showering me with strength and hope each day. He sees the desires of my heart, ones I’m often too timid to voice, and brings them to life in ways I never imagined possible.

Reflecting on this journey, I’m moved by the memories it holds—moments of pure joy, heartfelt gratitude, and the formation of lasting friendships. Like my time in Israel, this trip has left a profound impact on my soul, reminding me of God’s goodness and grace. So, I’ll keep adding impossible, silly things to my bucket list, confident that God has even greater plans in store.

I want to encourage you, to hold fast to hope and keep seeking Him because the more you seek Him the more, He will show up! No matter how dark your circumstances may seem right now, know that God is with you. He sees your struggles, hears your prayers, and delights in blessing you abundantly. Keep trusting, keep believing, and keep dreaming—for with God, all things are possible.

Dyslexia….. and the stigma that you’re not smart enough. #dyslexiaawarenessmonth

If we would have been graded on social skills in school growing up I would have had straight A’s every year! I would have been honor roll, national honor society, valedictorian material. I was the kid whose mother was called because she was TOO social in class. Unfortunately, being good at making friends and talking all day did not mean you got to move onto the next grade in school. I struggled with school growing up. I can count on two hands the amount of A’s I received in my entire school attendance history.

I attended an amazing small Christian school from kindergarten through 6th grade. As early as 2nd grade it was apparent that I had some learning disabilities. Back then I am not even sure that they had names for learning disabilities. I never remember hearing the word or a “title” being put on me. I do remember that in 3rd and 4th grade there were several kids in my class including me that would go to a separate classroom for part of the morning several times a week. I remember working on phonics and memorization skills. I had no idea it was because I had a learning disability. We had an incredible teacher with a heart to help us learn “our” way. She encouraged us, she cheered us on and you could tell she loved us and her job. Back then I did not know to the extent how her teaching would affect me growing up but to this day I still am able to use the things I learned in her class to push through my disability and past my insecure feelings towards school and learning in general. I never heard the word dyslexia in then but I know now that is why I had gone to a separate class.

In high school I transferred to a large public school where I knew no one and I was most definitely no one to every other kid there. That was a rough year. At 9th grade you are already awkward so having a learning disability makes it even more challenging. I slowly made a few friends but continued to make barely passing grades and my dislike for school was growing. I never received any help from teachers or special tutoring help. I was left to struggle on my own and just try to make it through. After almost failing English, and completely failing Spanish and French I dropped out of high school midway through 11th grade. I honestly thought, “what good is any of this going to do for me? I could just go get a job and start making money and not have to take these stupid tests.” I ended up completing 1.5 years of school in 4 months via state correspondence school. I know I only passed due to the fact that I just wrote a lot of opinion based papers and did not have to take any tests that required memorizing anything. I earned my diploma which I received in the mail. I never had a graduation or any part of a senior year. 

Over the next 19 years I dabbled in online college but never really got very far. I really love to learn but cannot process reading information and remembering it. I have to hear it to retain it. Back then online colleges were just getting going and did not have much for an auditory learner. 

I LOVED working! I had many jobs and often moved to management positions very quickly. I started my own bookkeeping firm which is now what I some consider very successful. In almost every setting, professionally, in the last 19 years I have had that awkward moment where someone inevitably asks me where I got my degree. I guess they assume because I own my own bookkeeping business that I went to college for accounting. I would awkwardly answer under my breath, “I don’t have a degree, and I did not go to college.” Then the awkward pause that would come, followed by the even more awkward side smile that seemed to say, “oh that’s cute that you have a small business but you won’t really be considered a referral source for me until you get an MBA.”

I have talked about going back to college many times over the years. I love learning new things. I love learning in general. I just have to do it differently than others. 

In 2012 I was offered a spot in the 10,000 Goldman Sachs Small Business program. It was a 9 month commitment. I drove to New Orleans multiple times a month to attend class at Babson College. I would be able to work on my business while also learning how to run my business from a professional education level without having to take all the extra classes unrelated to my profession. I learned from professional negotiators and marketers. No tests but our final grade was on our full business presentation. I LOVED IT! It gave me confidence and I felt like I had education that had some weight with other professionals. 

I received my fraud certification in 2019 after trying to “self study” for almost a year. I decided to go in person to the week long in person course. 5 days of auditory learning for almost 8 hours a day meant I passed the tests at the end of each day and earned my fraud investigator certification by the end of the week. 

In 2023 I knew better and went to in person real estate course with an amazing teacher who taught us acronyms to remembering all the things we would need to know on the test. I drove an hour away to take the test fully anticipating driving over again in a few weeks due to failing it the first time. The moment the proctor handed me my passing grade the FIRST time I was shocked. I even asked her if she had made a mistake. Lol

I’m used to failing. I’m used to never being the top in the class or the degree earner. In my 40’s I have come to terms with the fact that I learn different than others. That I get to the same conclusions as others but in a different way. That my brain processes incoming information differently than the average person. I have become comfortable with telling people I don’t have a degree on my wall, but I am proud of the businesses I have built and the success that I have had without the degrees. I have been able to provide and contribute to my families success and I have been able to offer jobs and careers to others who may not have had the chance to go to college either. I am happy with the gifts God gave me, even if they look a little different than others. I have dyslexia and I am proud of it! 

I am thankful for the people who have encouraged me and pushed me along the way. I am thankful for the educators who notice the kiddos struggling and offer to help in a slightly different way. I am thankful for the special education teachers that have a heart for kiddos that struggle in school. I am thankful for the dyslexia therapy centers that are popping up across the country. This month I am thankful for my dyslexia and for it teaching me that I am just as smart as the next person I just go about creating it a different way. #dyselxiaawareness

Prayers for the broken – Love generously and have faith as little as a mustard seed.

-Golan Heights looking over Syria

I had seen on our schedule that we were going to Golan Heights but to be honest I did not know much about it. I was really just along for the whole Israel ride.🙂 In His usual way though the Lord had a lesson for me. While we were climbing the “mountain”, really more of a hill but I digress, I learned that Golan Heights is a place that when you reach the top you can look one way and you will see Lebanon, and if you spin directly around you look out over Syria. There is even a little dirt road you can see leading from Israel into Syria. At first glance it reminded me of a road less traveled. It has been a large point of contention for many years in all of the surrounding nations because of its location. It is known as “the land for peace” in Israel, and in biblical times it was known as “Bashan,” which means “fruitful.”

I will admit most of the information I had heard about Syria had not been good. My personal view was it was not a place I was interested in learning about nor caring about. My husband had served in our military for 20 years and all I knew about Syria was that is where terrorists lived and where terrorist groups trained to kill people. It was a place that took my husband away from us for 6-9 months at a time. Away from his family, away from our life. It was the place that was dangerous and that had taken away precious time from my family. 

John 15:12-13 NIV

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 

But on this day I learned to see Syria and its people through the eyes of Jesus. So many years after deployments, sleepless nights, heart wrenching goodbyes and so many tears the Lord healed that place in my heart. He healed a place in my heart that I was not even aware was broken. He broke my heart in a new way, a good way. He showed me that even though there was evil there and even though there are evil people that He can still heal. As I was standing there listening to our guide, Dan, teach us about what we were seeing I heard the Lord so clearly say to me, “I died for them to.” I felt like the wind got knocked out of me. I stood there contemplating that statement and had to take a deep breath. He then said, “If you truly want to love me, you have to love them too.” As I stood there with tears running down my cheeks all I could think was that I had to let go of the pain and judgement of what I had held onto tightly for so long. I felt like I needed to hang onto that for my husband, my family, and that I would be un-American or that I would be a traitor for all those who had fought battles and died for us. I learned that while I am never ok with the evil that sometimes takes our military members evil is all around us. It’s not just in Syria or Lebanon or even Israel. It is the world we chose. We were given a sinless and pure world and we (humans) made the decision to have sin enter in. Adam and Eve made the choice to eat from the tree. I learned that if I am to move forward in a deeper understanding and knowledge of the Lord and his love then I had to see everyone differently, including those in Syria. I had to have a kingdom mindset, not a worldly one. I had to do the opposite of what the world teaches.

As we prayed for the people of Syria, Jordan and Lebanon I felt a weight lift and a peace fill my heart. I felt a sadness for those that had not chosen to be born there but had to grow up there not knowing any different. I felt a loneliness for those that grew up only learning to hate others that were unlike them. I felt a longing in our prayers that day that the Holy Spirit would invade this region and that it would fall on every heart that did not truly know Him.

As we finished our prayers on top of Golan Heights one of the ladies in my group, with tears in her eyes said, “look at all that mustard seed. Look how it’s leaning down toward Syria. That gives me hope.” That viewpoint did give me hope. It gave me hope of a peaceful nation. A beautiful region filled with the Holy Spirit. 

Matthew 17:20 NIV

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

I can say today that this was one of my favorite days in Israel. A day I did not expect but one that I needed. This day was a day that my faith grew. Thank you Lord for this day and may I always remember this day on top of Golan Heights where I heard your gentle voice nudging me deeper into relationship with you. 

Do it afraid

“Do not fear” is listed in the Bible 365 times.

Two types of fear:

Fear of God (Yirah): when we stand on holy ground, inhabiting a larger space than we are used to. Moses felt it when he encountered the burning bush. (Trembling and awe.)

Spirit of fear (Pachad: the fear of projected or imagined things)

The trip to Israel literally fell into my lap. I had dreamed about going to Israel for years but never felt it was a possibility. There was money, timing, and, worst of all, fear. When it came up as a possibility, the Lord immediately spoke to me and said that this was the time. This is the trip I should sign up for. The timing was right. I had enough time to save the money; the timing worked, so I signed up, still with a little fear in the back of my mind! Over the next few months, I shared with some friends that I was heading to Israel the following year, and two of my adventurous friends said they wanted to come too. Over the next nine months, we prayed about the trip. We all met multiple times as a team to discuss different details about the trip. We met our guide on Zoom. Everything was going smoothly. Tickets were lined up. Costs were lining up. The Lord was churning things in my heart with expectancy and anticipation for what I would learn there. He was speaking to me about how I would experience Him in a new way. I was definitely getting excited.

As long as I can remember, I have been terrified to fly. Like TERRIFIED! I did it as a child with my parents as needed, but not very often. When we moved to Mississippi, it was great because I could drive anywhere in the US and not have to fly. LOL

I get terribly sick on planes, and I have irrational fears about terrible things happening. Like, that scene in Bridesmaids where the lady sees a colonial woman on the wing of the plane and starts to freak out—yah, that is me 100%.🙂

The few times I have had to fly in the last 12 years, my husband has always come because he will sit by me and hold my hand while I play worship music blasting in my ear and pretend I am at a beach resort far, far away. It is a literal place I have to go in my mind.

I had to make a choice. Let this fear grip me from moving forward to new places in my life, or do I do it afraid knowing the Lord wanted to show me something new on this trip? I made a choice when I signed up that this fear was not going to stop me. It was lingering in my mind from day 1, but I knew if God wanted me to go on this trip, He would get me through it. I knew He would guide my steps onto that plane. Looking back, it’s hysterical that the Lord had my two friends sign up because otherwise I would have had to fly alone to meet up with the rest of the crew coming from other states. God knew way back in the beginning of the planning that I needed others to help me get there. (He is even in the small details, even when we do not see them.)

So about 5 months out from the trip, it was getting real. We were making sure our passports were in order. It was safe to travel. We were buying the items we needed. I started having dreams. Dreams of being on a plane and things going array. Dreams of storms coming out of nowhere over the ocean and our plane crashing. Dreams of medical emergencies with the pilots on board and us crashing into the waters. At one point, I even had a dream that the plane crashed and I survived but was trapped inside the plane and drowned. The dream was so vivid that I can still remember the feeling of not being able to catch my breath and the thoughts going through my head in those final moments. I would wake up anxious and sweating. The dreams continued to occur more often and become more intense. Then I started to notice that on news media or social media, as I was scrolling, articles and videos of planes crashing would show up on my feed almost every time I was on it! Mind you, to this point, I had told no one about my dreams or fear of flying. I had not vocalized any of this or looked up anything about it. These images just started appearing out of nowhere on my feed and on my phone. It continued to progress, with waves of panic coming over my body in the middle of the day. I would be stifled by fear, anxiety, and visions of the crash again and again. It started to give me panic attacks while I was awake. It was a rough couple of months. I continued to know that the Lord wanted me to go, but I was so clouded by this fear and anxiety that was gripping my thoughts and mind while I was awake and was keeping me up at night.

This is how the enemy works. He comes in very slowly. He comes in and sees a weakness we have, and he jumps at the chance to use it against us. He starts to infiltrate our thoughts and minds with things he knows will distract us from the Lord’s plan for us. He starts slowly and subtly, but he eventually starts to increase intensity to the point where we are so focused on the issue and our “feelings” that we can almost think of nothing else. I believe wholeheartedly that I was under attack from the enemy. I was tired from not sleeping well. I was exhausted from anxiety attacks in the middle of the day. I was not reading the Word on a consistent basis because I was hardly getting enough sleep to make it through the day. He was making it very difficult for me to see the light at the end of this tunnel. He was making it very difficult for me to stay in the Word and stay connected to the Lord because of all the confusion and mess going on in my head.

Don’t get me wrong. I was praying and seeking the Lord while this was all going on, but I could not see past the sleep deprivation or the lies of the enemy. He was wearing me down. I was doubting that the Lord wanted me to even go on this trip. I wondered if this was a warning not to go. I was starting to get very confused and overly anxious about the whole thing. Yes, it even crossed my mind to just give in and cancel it all together. I was very close several times.

About two months before we were set to go to Israel, I had a last-minute trip to DC come up for work. I bought the ticket and was preparing to leave when I said to myself, “I have no fear about this flight to DC for work.” I thought that was a very odd thing, seeing as how any time I thought about leaving on the Israel trip, I was overcome with fear and anxiety. I immediately realized that these last few months have been an attack by the enemy. I started to put together all the things that had happened over the past several months: the dreams, the attacks of anxiety, the news articles or images on my phone. I saw that something big was going to happen on this trip for me, and the devil was trying to keep me from going. The Lord was giving me clarity. He used a real-life situation to wake me up and see that I was being swayed by the enemy. I knew I was now in a battle, and I was not going to let the enemy win this one. I was fighting my flesh, but I knew I had to fight with my spiritual weapons. I was not going to win with just my might or my thoughts. I needed others help. (Ephesians 6: 11-16 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes).

I am not a person who asks for prayer from others very easily. It’s a hard thing for me because of my past. It makes me feel needy and dependent on someone else. I can also feel like I am being a burden to someone. I often just want to handle it myself, between God and me. The Lord told me to fight for this. He had clearly impressed upon me that I could not do this alone and that I needed to bring this out into the light. I started by telling my friends who were coming on the trip with me and my group leaders what was happening and asking them to pray. I then called my family and asked them to put this specific thing on their prayer lists. I called my out-of-state friends and asked them to pray. I asked our prayer team at church to pray over me in person several times over the last two months. I even went to a friend’s home and had a prayer session with her. I wanted to be free from this fear and worry. I wrote down verses about fear and anxiety and read them multiple times a day. I stopped watching the news and even got off social media until I left. I made the decision that the enemy was not going to win.

The days were still hard. It did not break off in a snap of a finger, but I do believe those prayers held back some of the schemes of the enemy in my life in those months leading up to the trip. I still fought through some anxiety and fear, but not to the level of intensity that I had before. I held strong on God’s word and declarations that the enemy had no hold on me or my mind on this trip.

I did my part by inviting my spiritual family to pray with me and support me. I did my part by talking to my doctor about any safe medication I could take to settle my nerves and my sickness. God did his part in supplying me with travel friends, so I did not feel alone. He supplied people to encourage me and pray for me along the way.

Stepping on that plane that day was a small thing to most, but a huge step in my spiritual journey of not allowing fear or anxiety to keep me from the promises of God in my life. While I still had human anxiety, there was a peace that surpassed all understanding when I sat down and buckled up. I then slept the WHOLE plane ride over. The Lord supplied little joys all along the trip and the blessing of no delays or lost luggage! LOL

This trip was life-changing, to say the least. There will be more to come on the journey the Lord brought me on while in Israel, but THIS day was a triumphant day. It was a day in my life that I can look back on and realize the enemy was at work, but the Lord won! (John 10:10: – The enemy comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.)

We have to make a choice some days to do things afraid, knowing the Lord will sustain us. We have to realize we need others to pray for us and to help encourage us when we are weak. We have to be brave enough to step out and ask for help and ask others for prayer, even when it’s uncomfortable. There is POWER in prayer. There is POWER in praying over each other.

I tell this story because I want people to be reminded that we are all human. We all have fears. We all have a real enemy keeping us from our purpose and our growth in our relationship with the Lord. The enemy distracts and manipulates situations and things to make them look or feel like we should not do them or move forward with them. He creates confusion and a lack of clarity. He does all these things often in the dark; most often, I have found them for me in the night. In this case, though, he was bold enough to come out in the daylight and try to take this from me. The spiritual realm is not weird, it’s not pretend, and it’s not a joke. The enemy will do anything he can to steal, kill, and destroy our happiness and our precious relationship with our Heavenly Father. We need to be ready to recognize his schemes, and we need to be brave enough to ask for help from others when we cannot carry the load on our own. Sometimes we need to do it afraid.

2 Corinthians 12:9–10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Picture: Sea of Galilee at Sundown

Israel – Starting from the end

1 Peter 4:10

“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.”

I must begin from the end….

I traveled all over Israel but would not have learned a thing without the people in this picture. 

Marzook, on the far right was our amazing bus driver! Without him we would have surely died from either getting run over by the crazy drivers there or by being frozen with fear to drive anywhere in these crazy towns with skinny streets and crazy drivers. He was so humble, so full of joy and it was an honor getting to meet him. It was such a privilege to be able to pray for him and his family at the end of our trip. 

Amber and Eddray, pictured to the left of me were my adventurous fun loving travel buddies who jumped at the chance to hop on this trip in 2022 when I first mentioned it. Without them there is no way I would have made it over the ocean much less on the plane in New York.🙂 WE prayed. We fasted. We planned for over a year and God showed up in every way on this trip. I know it was His plan for all of us to experience this together. I am excited to move forward in life remembering all the things we learned about each other and our relationship with the Lord in Israel! 

On the far left is Anja and Dan. Anja and Dan are two of the most humble, caring and pastoral people I have ever met. Their love for everyone no matter their background, color, religious preference or past was infectious. They truly want to be a vessel to lead people to a true relationship with our father. They are passionate about their purpose and it is so evident that they are filled with the spirit of the Lord. I am so honored to have met Anja in the short time we had with her. She was able to come spend some time with us on two nights of the trip but mostly took care of their children at home while Dan led our 10 day trip. 

Dan truly has a gift to teach the word of God and to make you think and connect with every word of scripture. He lives out Acts 4:10. Everyday he would lead us to new places mentioned in the Bible and he was always so particular about the spot he chose for our group of 30 people to sit and read the word. He would then share about the location we were at and read a portion of the word to us. He would so carefully transition us into thinking deeper about the scripture. He challenged us to dig deeper in our thoughts and our hearts to really hear what the word was saying to US. He challenged us to think deeper than the words and more into the circumstances surrounding the story, the location of where the story took place and the importance of why the Lord chose to put those details in the Bible for us to read at the appointed time. He encouraged us to love above all else but also to grow deeper in our conversation and relationship with Yahshua. Dan’s deep love for the Lord is so apparent, but you also do not leave one of Dan’s tours without knowing he loves each of Yahshua’s children. His interaction with every person we encountered was remarkable. He was genuine, caring, encouraging and present in every moment. From the servers at restaurants to other tour guides. He treated each person with care and love, as if he knew they may be fighting battles unseen. He was such a light to everyone around him. 

I had to start from the end because I feel like I said goodbye to family in Israel. I have to say thank you to Anja for loaning your husband to our group for those 10 days. Thank you for allowing us to experience not only his knowledge but his heart for people. Thank you Dan for taking time away from your family to teach us and guide us. Thank you for challenging us and encouraging us. Thank you for taking the time to make the Bible come alive. Thank you for your part in making this trip such a catapult into a renewed season with the Lord for all of us. Thank you for being a good steward of your gift and of God’s grace in your life. 

2023 – A new thing

Isaiah 43:19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

2020 was the “Year of vision.” Everyone I know had “Vision” as their word for 2020. There was vision alright. The vision of things happening that we never thought possible. The vision that the earth was able to be shut down from one tiny virus. We were seeing things that we had only imagined in our wildest imagination or seen in the most insane movie plots. Suddenly, those things were being seen with our own eyes. It was a tough year. A seemingly lonely year.

2021 was the year of “Simple.” I was simplifying things. In life. In my mind. In my heart. The Lord was bringing me back to simplistic thinking. The simpleness of scripture. The simplicity of just loving spending time with Him. The simplicity of the peace he brings. He was showing me to depend on Him and nothing else – simple as it seems our human flesh can make it much harder than it looks.

2022 I did not receive a word at the beginning of the year. As a matter of fact I did not get it until well into 2022. When I finally received it the delay made sense. It was prune/tend. I am a person who likes order and control. LOL The Lord had me wait not so patiently on the word for 2022. (out of order and I definitely had no control over that) The effects of 2020 were still close in my mind and heart. Then He brought me back to the simplicity of scripture and a relationship with Him. This year He was pruning things (Fall/Winter season) – delicately trimming back dead things. In order to bear much fruit there has to be a pruning process to get rid of the old in order to let the new grow. He was tending the garden of peoples hearts, minds and lives and laying the groundwork for the harvest to come. I saw marriages, family, kids, jobs, possessions all being tended to in a deep way in order to make room for the new things.

2023 brings the hope of “expectancy.” The Lord said to me, “I have shown them what could be (2020). I have simplified their hearts (2021). I have tended the ground to be ripe for harvest (2022). Now I am ready to do a new thing to those who have been faithful and to those that have gone astray. I will bring the lost ones home. Now that the ground has been prepared I will turn the wilderness into a garden.”

2 corinthians 4:8
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

This year I am hopeful of all the new things to come and I will continue to enjoy the peace that surpasses all understanding in the midst of any circumstance because my hope is in the eternal.