“So I say, ‘My endurance has perished; so has my hope from the Lord.’ Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in Him.’”
I have spoken to many women lately, all who seem to say with one breath, “My endurance is perishing.” They lament that they are feeling close to the line of surrendering to sadness, grief, forlornness, loneliness, anger, betrayal, disappointment, and weariness.
We have moved from the society of saying, “I am fine,” to a place of brutal honesty about earthly life. And I think there is something good about that honesty. We don’t have to pretend that life doesn’t hurt. We don’t have to pretend that we aren’t tired, grieving, disappointed, lonely, or struggling. Lamentations certainly doesn’t pretend. The writer openly remembers his affliction, his wandering, the bitterness he has experienced, and how his soul is bowed down within him.
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope.
That “but” changes the direction of the entire passage. The circumstances didn’t necessarily change in that moment. The grief didn’t suddenly disappear. The disappointment wasn’t immediately resolved. The weariness was still real. But the writer chose what he would call to mind. He reminded himself of what was also true: the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is His faithfulness.
I think that is something many of us need to remember in the seasons when our endurance feels like it is perishing. We can be honest about how we feel without allowing our feelings to become the final truth. We can acknowledge the sadness, grief, loneliness, anger, betrayal, disappointment, and weariness while still remembering the character and faithfulness of God.
This life will lead us to eternal life when our hope is in Jesus, the Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace. He is our salvation and our Rock. He lifts us up when we have lost our strength and carries us through the places where we simply don’t have enough strength of our own. Our hope is in Jesus, the lifter of our heads and the healer of our souls.
This verse was shared with me this morning, and it was such a great daily reminder that the Lord is with us. We are not walking through this alone. He has gone before us, and He is with us. He is with you.
I encourage you today: The Lord is with you. He is for you. He has not forsaken you. He will see you through whatever it is you are struggling with, even if sometimes it feels like you only have enough strength to make it through today.
Maybe that is part of what it means for the Lord to be our portion. We don’t have to have tomorrow’s strength today. We don’t have to figure out the entire journey today. We simply have to trust Him with the portion He has given us for this day.
“This is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in Him.”
So today, I will remember His faithfulness. Today, I will remember His mercy. Today, I will remember that He is with me. My worry for tomorrow does not belong to today.
This portion of Lamentations is enough for today. And if today is all I can manage, then today is enough.
Because His mercies are new every morning.
And tomorrow, there will be new mercy waiting for me there, too.
Sharing personal stories, especially ones of joy and success, can sometimes feel like navigating a minefield. There’s a delicate balance between celebrating our victories and acknowledging the struggles of others. No one wants to diminish another person’s hardships, especially when they’re going through their own trials.
As someone who’s walked through wilderness seasons, I understand the struggle all too well. I’ve faced my fair share of wilderness seasons. During those moments, hearing about others’ joy-filled seasons sometimes left me feeling even more hopeless. It’s tough to see the light when you’re surrounded by darkness. But through it all, I’ve learned that even in the darkest times, the light illuminates the darkness. It’s why the bible tells us that the word of our testimonies is so powerful. It can help others in overcoming adversity. So that’s what I share today, a testimony….
I’m currently in a season of growth and flourishing. Though I still encounter challenges, I wake up each day filled with hope and gratitude for the blessings the Lord has given me. I often find myself overwhelmed with gratitude and humility, reflecting on the journey that has brought me to where I am today.
There are moments when I’m reminded of the darkness I once faced – battles with addiction, harmful relationships, and both emotional and physical abuse. But despite the darkness from which I emerged, I am here today, a living testament to the transformative power of God’s grace. I am grateful every day that He didn’t leave me in those dark places but instead lifted me out and saved me.
In the fall of 2023, I was intrigued by a pastor’s message on the significance of bucket lists. He emphasized the importance of setting goals to work towards and having things to look forward to in life. Bucket lists, he said, not only provide hope and focus but also have the potential to strengthen our faith.
Reflecting on this, I found myself contemplating my own list. Many of my aspirations had already become reality, leaving me wondering what else to add. Then, I recalled the pastor’s advice to include seemingly impossible or even silly desires. So, I began to jot down ideas: traveling to Europe, recording music, embarking on a family mission trip… And then, almost out of nowhere, Carnegie Hall and New York City crossed my mind.
Admittedly, the thought of singing at Carnegie Hall seemed silly and far-fetched. I laughed to myself, deeming it too unrealistic for my bucket list. However, the pastor’s words echoed in my mind: “add things to the list that seem silly and impossible.” So, with a mix of amusement and curiosity, I added it: “singing at Carnegie Hall.” With that, I tucked the idea away in my mind, not dwelling on it too much.
A few months later, my husband and I were driving home when I received a text from a close friend. It read: “I have an opportunity. Performing with Kari Jobe and Cody Carnes in Carnegie. Thoughts?” Initially, It sounded like an amazing experience, and since it was in New York, and of course Kari Jobe and Cody Carnes, I replied with a simple “Um YES!”
As the weeks went by, the magnitude of the opportunity began to sink in. Shortly before all this took place, I had been wrestling with uncertainties in my music journey. Unsure if pursuing music, recording, and leading worship was what the Lord wanted for me, I had even found myself contemplating putting it on hold. Up to this point the bucket list conversation with the Lord that I had tucked away had not come back to my mind yet.
I continued to pray and seek God’s will about my music future. Then, one December day while driving and listening to worship music, God gently reminded me of our previous conversation about bucket lists. He assured me that even though it seemed like a silly request, it was a dream I had in my heart. He told me He was opening an impossible door to show me that even the seemingly trivial desires matter to Him because of His love for me. It was a gift to me packaged from Him.
The journey to Carnegie Hall wasn’t without its challenges. There were logistical hurdles, financial commitments, and my ongoing battle with fear and anxiety around flying. In a previous blog post titled “Do it afraid,” I shared about my fear of flying. This fear became evident during a trip to Israel in 2023, where I experienced nightmares and panic attacks leading up to the flight. Reflecting on this, I’ve realized it’s a spiritual attack of the enemy. Both before my Israel trip and my recent journey to Carnegie Hall, I faced anxiety, nightmares and sleepless nights anticipating the flights. However, upon returning home from each trip, I felt zero anxiety and even a sense of calm and peace.
These trips taught me that the enemy often targets our weakest areas. For me, fear of flying is one such vulnerability. Yet, I remained steadfast in my faith, refusing to succumb to fear and cancel my trips. I relied on God’s strength within me, knowing His power is greater than any obstacle. Overcoming fear and anxiety is an ongoing journey. While God freed me from anxiety needing medication years ago, I still face moments where I must confront these emotions. However, I hold onto the truth that my feelings do not dictate reality, and with God, all things are possible.
Saturday was filled with rehearsals and a meet-and-greet with Kari and Cody, who proved to be blessings to everyone they encountered. Their humble spirits and reverence for the Lord were evident in all they did. It was truly an honor to stand on stage with them and their team. Following a fun evening touring the city, enjoying a show, we returned for a restful night’s sleep.
The next morning, we had the privilege of attending the vibrant Times Square Church. Witnessing the overflow of worship in the heart of Times Square was a refreshing reminder of God’s presence amid the city’s turmoil. After church, it was off to Carnegie for our official rehearsal with Kari and Cody. As we stepped into Carnegie’s main hall, Stern Hall, the grandeur of the venue took our breath away. The room was filled with history, humbling us as we prepared for the evening’s performance.
The evening concert was filled with awe and wonder. Sweet moments of sporadic worship and just the voices carrying through the room was what I believe to be a small glimpse of what worshiping in heaven before the throne will sound like. All voices and instruments in one accord praising the one who gave us breath and life.
We closed the evening with a beautiful performance of The Blessing, ending with an acoustic, vocals only moment singing Amen, for all of heaven to hear. The congregation, the choir, Kari and Cory all singing in harmony with the sound reverberating off the acoustic walls of Carnegie Hall. What a sight it was to behold.
This trip made me realize I witnessed firsthand how God’s blessings transcend our own limitations. Despite my wavering faith at times, He remains faithful, showering me with strength and hope each day. He sees the desires of my heart, ones I’m often too timid to voice, and brings them to life in ways I never imagined possible.
Reflecting on this journey, I’m moved by the memories it holds—moments of pure joy, heartfelt gratitude, and the formation of lasting friendships. Like my time in Israel, this trip has left a profound impact on my soul, reminding me of God’s goodness and grace. So, I’ll keep adding impossible, silly things to my bucket list, confident that God has even greater plans in store.
I want to encourage you, to hold fast to hope and keep seeking Him because the more you seek Him the more, He will show up! No matter how dark your circumstances may seem right now, know that God is with you. He sees your struggles, hears your prayers, and delights in blessing you abundantly. Keep trusting, keep believing, and keep dreaming—for with God, all things are possible.
