I’ve had a few medical scares in my life, and for some reason I’ve always waited to share about them until I felt it was necessary, or not at all. So when this one arose, I defaulted to that same pattern and kept it quiet.

But I’ve realized that keeping quiet means missing out on so much. It keeps people from the chance to pray and to encourage, and it keeps the testimony God is writing from being shared. So I’m telling you now, because looking back, this whole season has God written all over it. I also pray that it encourages someone else who may be in a medical challenge to seek wisdom, council and push for the right care for you! Seek counsel from doctors you trust and from the people God has placed in your life, and above all, seek direction from Him. As Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” And James 1:5 promises that “if any of us lacks wisdom, we can ask God, who gives generously to all.”

I’ve had a fairly significant autoimmune disorder for most of my adult life, so I tend to blame the strange medical episodes that pop up on that disease and not worry much about them. About two years ago, I started having heart issues that progressively got worse. After a heart monitor and some testing, I ended up with a great cardiologist and, much to my dismay, on heart medication, which I’ve now been on for over a year.

At my one-year follow-up, I made a very fly-by mention of a neurological episode I’d had a few times over the last six months. I’d chalked it up to blood pressure from the medication or dehydration. But it worried her enough that she ordered a CT scan, something cardiologists don’t usually do. She did it anyway.

The CT showed nothing super serious but there was a small dark spot that warranted an MRI. If you know me, you know I’m extremely claustrophobic, so MRIs are a huge ordeal. Around that same time, I’d also been dealing with a daily, painful issue with a disc in my neck. So I asked my primary care doctor to let me do the brain MRI and a neck MRI at the same time, since I had to drive an hour for an open MRI and be given meds. He ordered both.

The brain MRI showed nothing. The shadow that had shown up on the CT was just a shadow. But the neck MRI, while confirming arthritis and a few small things behind my pain, also showed some significant spots on my thyroid.

An ultrasound found three nodules: one of no concern, one small one of some concern, and one large one of significant concern. The recommendation was a biopsy. My primary care doctor wasn’t available, so a new doctor in the office referred me to a radiologist. Because of my voice and my singing, I pushed to see a specialist instead. The risk to my vocal cords was low, but real, especially in the wrong hands. That push led to a local endocrinologist.

There I sat in her office, wondering if we’d be discussing the big “C.” I don’t know that anyone is ever ready for it, but I’d done my research and felt prepared, knowing that if it was thyroid cancer, it’s generally slow-growing and doesn’t usually spread quickly and there were alot of very positive treatments for that if that was the answer.

We had a great, candid conversation. She wouldn’t give me anything definitive before a biopsy, but she understood my concern for my voice. And it turned out she had attended Tulane for medical school and worked under a great endocrine surgeon with a clinic just an hour or two from us. He’s cutting-edge in the thyroid field and believes in doing anything possible to save the thyroid, seeing removal as an option but not the first and only resort.

A week later, I was sitting in his office discussing cancer, nodules, radiofrequency ablation, and thyroid removal surgery as options after my biopsy. The biopsy was horrendous, as I’m sure you can imagine: a needle in your throat, wiggled around to collect tissue from the nodule. The biopsy came back negative for cancer so that was a huge relief. The doctor was very confident the large nodule we biopsied has been wreaking havoc throughout my whole body for over a year and a half. Things I’d blamed on perimenopause or my autoimmune disorder are clearly symptoms of a hot nodule causing hyperthyroidism.

Then came the insurance challenge. He told me up front that few insurers cover these procedures, because even though they’ve been around for six years, that’s still “new” to the medical world. We waited a few weeks, with a lot of pointed prayers that my paperwork would land on the right person’s desk with the right codes. And just as God always does, in His faithfulness and mercy, it was approved.

Through all of this, I keep thinking about a woman I met on my mission trip to Belize this past summer. She had a serious problem with her kidneys and lived in a lot of pain every day. A doctor had told her something was wrong and she needefd surgery but the what she needed simply wasn’t available to her, so she was having to live with it. Her story has stayed with me through every appointment and every scan. It reminds me that the options I’ve been given are not something to take for granted. As Thessalonians 5:18 reminds us to, “Give thanks in all circumstances,” and even in the hard and scary parts of this journey, I have seen His gifts all along the way.

So here I stand, the day before my procedure to be put under for this groundbreaking treatment called RFA. It will hopefully shrink the nodule over the next few months and stop it from creating all the issues I’ve been fighting over the past year and a half and reduce risk of cancer in the future.

I know this happens hundreds of thousands of times a day all over the world, but this is my first time being put under, and for me it’s a big faith moment. It’s also a huge step of trust when it comes to my voice. I have spent many years building those muscles and learning to use my voice effectively for Jesus’ glory, and the thought of anything affecting my vocal cords or my singing is not small to me. But I have to remind myself that He gave me this gift, and so He is in charge of preserving it.

When I look back, I can see His hand. A comment I almost didn’t make to my cardiologist. A shadow on a scan that turned out to be nothing. Neck pain with perfect timing. An endocrinologist with exactly the right connection. A file on the right desk. None of those felt like miracles in the moment. Most of them felt like inconveniences, or worries, or just another appointment on an already full calendar. But I’ve learned that so often God isn’t asking me to understand the whole picture while I’m standing in the middle of it. He’s asking me to keep my eyes on Him and not on the problem I’m facing. When I focus on the problem, all I see is the next scan, the next test, the next what-if. When I focus on my God, I start to see His hand in the little things, and I’m reminded that He was working long before I ever knew something was wrong.

Charles Spurgeon said, “God is too good to be unkind and He is too wise to be mistaken. And when we cannot trace His hand, we must trust His heart.” In this season, I can actually trace His hand. And that makes it easier to trust His heart for what comes next.

I’m thankful for my family, my friends, and my doctors, but I am most thankful for a God who will be holding my hand and guiding the surgeon’s hands as my body gets some help from modern medicine on Friday.

Please keep me in your prayers. My human feelings of anxiety and fear will undoubtedly try to take over, but I know the more prayers I ask for, the more peace I will experience. God has given me an incredible community of family and friends who know this is only the start of another great testimony He will write in my life in this next season.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

Specific prayer requests:

• Peace for me and my family
• That the anesthesia doesn’t make me sick (that would be miserable after a needle jabbed in my throat)
• Rest
• Healing in my body, and for this treatment to work as intended without creating other issues
• Wisdom and guidance for the surgeon and the anesthesiologist
• And that I get fun nurses 😉
• All other nodules are healed and gone in the next scan